Today, I am going to cancel the gas card that my W has, and then tonight tell her she needs to cut it up, and then hand her her car insurance bill as well.
That seems so cold and disfunctional family thing to do when I add my emotions to the equation, but remove them, and I still think this is the right thing to do for me. In a sense I almost feel a small burden will be lifted when I do that.
Not a spite or response to what she said last night, but the bill just came yesterday, and I have been thinking about this for a couple weeks now, and believe it's time to do this.
I still don't know if this is good DB, but what I believe is right for me.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I just don't get her mindset, I suppose never will.
She's telling her friends now, she needs to hurry up and get this D done, and hopes that it goes well to just get this over with.
Last nights comments, about what she wants, and her reply of Freedom, happiness, loving relationship, prosperity, all the things I could never have with you, and never did, etc..
It would seem that there's no way that we are going to reconcile. That's sad, but I know that either way I will be ok. I have dropped the rope for a while now, and I'll continue to focus on me, and protect my d8 as best I can.
That's the darned hardest thing to get my head around, how to protect d8 through all these changes.
Need to work on some more GAL stuff....
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Well, I just cancelled the gas card my W uses, and I plan on handing her, her Insurance bill tonight.
This should be a barrel of laughs...
I don't believe she will take this any other way than as a spiteful move on my part, and it's not. I just don't feel that I am responsible for these things for her, given she wants out of the M, and is completely detached from my.
Oddly, I don't feel sad, or happy, just disgusted that this is going this way.
I wonder at time how I am her roadblock in life? given I have been paying her way, and giving her nothing but space for 8+ months. I guess I can never know. Any former WAS got some insight into why I am perceived this way? She's been doing whatever she wants for months, but I am her main problem in her life, and the cause of all her hindrances..
Whatever, I suppose, I can't know what she is thinking. I know she hurt for a long time, and I was a huge part of that, so I'll take that away as something to fix, and have been fixing for me so as not to make the same mistakes..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I don't believe she will take this any other way than as a spiteful move on my part, and it's not. I just don't feel that I am responsible for these things for her, given she wants out of the M, and is completely detached from my.
Oddly, I don't feel sad, or happy, just disgusted that this is going this way.
So, be detached when you give it to her. Not cold, but detached. Explain to her what you just wrote - that this is her responsibility given the circumstances (her wanting to leave). And it doesn't matter how she takes it if it is the right thing to do, and it sounds to me like it is. Tough love, man.
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I wonder at time how I am her roadblock in life? given I have been paying her way, and giving her nothing but space for 8+ months. I guess I can never know. Any former WAS got some insight into why I am perceived this way? She's been doing whatever she wants for months, but I am her main problem in her life, and the cause of all her hindrances..
NONE of that matters, mostly b/c what she has told you probably isn't true. My brother has a saying that you can't make sense out of nonsense. So don't try to.
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Whatever, I suppose, I can't know what she is thinking. I know she hurt for a long time, and I was a huge part of that, so I'll take that away as something to fix, and have been fixing for me so as not to make the same mistakes..
Nope, you were 50% of the reason for it. No more, no less. Fix what you need to, but don't trick yourself into believing you were more responsible than you truly were.
