If your H was to trash you to his family do you really think that they would believe everything he said?
If you told your side of it to his family, would there be a possiblity that your kids may find out what has really been going on?
Do you really want your kids to know the 'whole truth' about the situation?
I think by simply sticking to your idea of 'you guys just went your own ways' may be the best way to play that. If you tell your side of the story, don't think he won't start telling his side of it, and by the way that he sounds, he will turn the lime light back on you and diminish his role in all of the sexual stuff.
I think you are learning that you have control of yourself and what you truely want and that he does not have supreme rule over you. This is a new feeling for you and it is scary for you, I bet.
You and I know what it's like to live with sexual addition in someone that we loved and respected. I did not want family/freinds to know that my H had done these things because in my mind that ment that I could not have been a good enough wife if he was finding these things elsewhere than in our M. I blamed myself for him stepping out because he had told me that if I had done this or had been this way than he would not have gone looking for it with an OW.
Thank God I woke up and realized that what his problem was (and may still be) is not my fault. I am just me. As I said before (and it has become my new motto), I am not responsible for any other persons happiness. They need to be happy with themselves and not put the blame on me for their unhappiness. Maybe you can use this as your motto too. I am not saying that you can not do things to make other people happy, I am just saying that you can not compromise who you are to the point that you are unhappy just to make that person happy.
I hope I made sense in all of that. I hope you get your place. I hope you continue to get help. You deserve much better than what you have been dealing with.
HUGS Stacy
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
