In Limbo

[d1adsl5a]

Thanks. I do agree with you. I do agree there were many times where I could have been a better husband. I hear that saying alot, you can be right or have a relationship.

The fact is I know she has told her sister that she has seen changes in me and that I am trying hard. I do agree, it used to be I was a take charge guy that became controlling. I have acknowledged and have changed which she has agreed that I am different.

Then she will start in with I can forgive you, but I can't forget. It was a bad day. We took my 11 year old to see a therapist today. He is very self concious about himself and it has been getting worse over the last three months. The therapist even said part of his issues are because of our situation. I truly thought that if this didn't get her to rethink her position on things, nothing will. She wept in the therapists office, as soon as we get out, I get, "you are not putting this guilt trip on me. I said life is about choices, choosing to be happy, choosing to work on a marriage and our situation is just sad..." Somedays she seems is that she has left the marriage in her head. Not sure her therapist is helping all that much either at this point. She also told her sister that we tried to work on things and it just doesn't appear that it will work. She hasn't wanted to work on things since day one.

I will keep up the fight for another day and another day...

Thanks.

I still that she is still in the heart of her MLC. What mother would not say either we have to try or lets call it because limbo land is not a healthy for our kids. I also told her to stop saying I am doing what is best for the kids and myself. I said make no mistake, this path you are on isn't best for the kids, it is best for you. Her response is if I am happy, the kids will be.

The therapist kept us after today and asked my wife if she plans on going back to marriage counseling. There was a 3 second pause and then a "hopefully"

I had a letter typed out again ready to launch it, however, I deleted it. Trying to win the war not all the little battles.

I do like the hope in your voice and I am trying to be as introspective as I can to make sure I am doing all I can to make me better. Her words of "I still need to fix/work on myself before I think of talking about our marriage" is definitely growing old fast after 3 months. Haven't seen one change in her since she dropped the bomb 3 months ago. But I guess I don't have a choice if I want this to work out. I will be remaining in Limbo Land for the time being.

I will listen, really listen to what she is saying.