Newly Separated and Heartbroken

[ALJ]

Journaling,

H's birthday is today. The kids sent him cards so he should receive them today. I also sent him a card. Nothing romantic, just a funny short card acknowledging his birthday. I called him so the kids could say happy birthday. I asked him if he had any plans for today, he said he was going to take it easy because he had no business meetings scheduled. He did ask how I was doing (a first for him ) but it was only after I asked him first. We talked about financial matters. I asked him what he was going to do about paying his bills.(I do the bill paying but his bills go to his new address so I dont know when they are due anymore. He has been getting late charges.) He never offered a solution and seemed like he didnt want to talk about it so I wont ask again.
I ended the conversation with "enjoy the rest of your day." He said "thank you, I appreciate that." Unfortunately, he talked to me like I was the lady next door instead of his wife. No feeling or emotion. Maybe I am reading to much into this but he sounds troubled sometimes and sometimes he sounds normal. He had promotional parties on last Friday and this Monday and I dont think they went too well (not a large enough crowd to make money). On Monday nite, I texted him asking how his party was going. It went like this,

Me- Hope your party is going well

Him- uuuummmm

Me- Dont know what that means but I hope its positive

Him- Not really....but its okay

Me- Any famous people?

Him- Not tonite

Me- Don't matter. You're the star tonite. (it was a promotion party but his birthday was recognized also)

Him- A fallen star.

Me- Not in my book. This is only the beginning. You are just starting out. Things will get better.

Him- I pray it does....


I hope this was not persuing. I was just offering some encouraging words. Not sure if that was the right thing to do. My emotions got the best of me.

The one thing that we do have to talk about is how he can see more of the kids, which wont be easy because he lives 14 hours away down south.
Sometimes I have trouble saying what I want to say to him so DB coach Jodi helped me put together something that I plan to bring up very soon if he doesn't. It goes like this,

"I appreciate you being open and honest with me when we talked before you left to go back home. I thought a lot about what you said and I understand where you are coming from because it seemed like I was ignoring the situation. (I had not told family members about us separating). "Now that everyone knows and I understand that this is a separation and not a time-out and that you are not a part of our household, we really need to figure out how the kids can spend more time with you. You said you miss the kids and they miss you also so we need to establish something where they will know when they will see you, etc, etc...

I hope that sounds okay. I guess its something that we should have talked about the last time h was here. H did mention that it was killing him living without seeing the kids and he cant live like that. I did not respond to him figuring he should come up with a solution since he was the one that left. Any feedback is appreciated.