I know what you mean. And I know I'm having a hard time with it now because there's been so much positive lately. I do realize this is not my clock and really he's not in control of the clock either, but he's got some I think. I have gotten greedy and I just want something normal with him. I want him back home full time.....however, not just yet. I think another month of us physically separated is going to be a good thing. If we're still separated in three months, I'll be anxious. We'll see.
The program is a compromise. I really wanted to go see someone, but he REFUSED. So I found it online and it's an at home program. He doesn't really like it. I think it hits to close to home and he's always thought therapy is mumbo jumbo (but yet will compliment my therapist all the time and he's never met her, never will.) So instead of going to see someone, we're doing this instead. But after tonight, we're going to stop and just refresh and really put the best practices out of the program into effect. One of the things that has to be done....tabling the issues. We made of list of things we fight about and honestly, it's pretty much all OW related, so we tabled OW. Lately he's been bringing her up. I think he needs to vent about how he was treated and his anger related to it, yet he still talks to her and he says "it's to get rid of her....she still values my professional opinion and I've done everything to get rid of her short of packing her sh!t for her." Whatever. I want to table that again. I don't want to hear about it anymore and I wish he would cut off all contact, but that's not possible. Working 10 - 20 feet from someone....that's hard to do.
But while he doesn't like it, he's seen success with us through it. Things are much more comfortable and even fun with us now. And much of it has to do with what I've learned from DBing and that program.....much of it similiar when it comes to reconciling.
I would have rather have had a greasy Philly Cheesesteak and cheese fries with a big a$$ coke. For the record.
