What do you want? If you want to keep standing then stand. But make sure you are moving forward. It is possible to move forward even without a d. The invitation to coffee is good and it is out there for now. Now as you say just back off.
BTW, I do not agree that most mlcs last up to five years. There is no time frame. There have been many who are in mlc longer. There is no statute of limitations on mlc. It is up to the mlcer and how long they can avoid facing there issues. I am sure many never do.
Once only you can decide what your next move will be. You are right if you do not want a d then do not file for one. If your h was happy then why did he he not file for d?
Just as Karen said what would you do if he were dead? It does not mean an om. Just live your life for you.
