Divorce not busted 2

[mulesqb]

Orich - my heart goes out to you bro. This is so similar to my sitch last year. Particularly in the way your W has turned to ice and what your interactions have become. She is saying she wants to try or doesn't want to separate or a D, but her actions and body language say otherwise. It is so difficult. I really wish I could offer you advice. I tried so hard and I see you doing the same. I don't think there is anything you can do but give her space. The OM may not really be an issue, but he just may be in her mind. And it makes her think. The whole situation with the anniversary card and birthday cards were identical to my sitch. It hurts.

I really think you just have to back off and live as if she is a close friend. Don't push her either way. And there will be times that you get very frustrated. I will pray that you have the strength to get through them. I didn't. My STBX's behavior became more than I could tolerate. And looking back I feel that I really pushed her towards a D. Unfortunately, I really think you are in for a long haul here. I think this is something she clearly has to work out on her own. You can't put on a timetable. You have to change your goals. Slowly work on the friendship with her. In bits and pieces. Don't overanalyze and get too up or down about any of her behavior or interactions. Be there for her, but don't keep telling her you're there for her. Really try to get your mind off sex. I think the threat of that hanging over her head will make her more distant. And be happy that you still have her in your house and are able to function amicably. And definitely stay away from any R talk. I think that may be the most important thing. If you feel one coming on, get out of there. When they are in this state of mind, the last thing you want is them thinking about the R all the time.

I hope that helps bro.

Strength and Honor.

Mules