Well yes topsy turvy is certainly the word for it, but I guess it is better then the alternative. Your right about sterss - things that used to 'bug' me enourmousely and that I would stress over dont really matter anymore. Im happy in my little lot in life despite its frustrations.
You know I would have been really happy about her being pregant but it is better to do this properly under the medical supervision that she requires. So we will just see how that works itself out.
I have really relaised that my wife has a very low self esteem (a lot coming from her sickness in her early 20s). From this she thinks that she has failed a lot in life anmd that at least she has her 'looks' so she values herself against that. I think she has some real insecurities that I would abandon her when she got 'older' - maybe this was one of the things behind her actions in that she jumped before she thought I pushed her. Strange logic but I can see how she can get there. This compounded on her self assurity that I was having affairs probably pushed her in that direction as well (that is jump before being pushed) - add a bit of MLC in there as well and that makes for a volatile mix.
Her mum doesnt worry about looks at all. She was approached to take part at it when she was in college, did it for an adventure, then promptly had nothing more to do with it. She never did any modelling (her mum that is) just went back to college. Her mum was very succesful professionally in that she was on the baoard of an chaired a number of Government organisations and was actually on the econmonic advisory board to the prime minister. My wife has always felt she has let me mum down more on the professional success side.
I hope all is well and hope to catch up with you at Christmas.
Andrew
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To go forward you have to put the past behind you
