Advice on DB-ing when sep spouse lives at home

[cat04]

Yes H walked around with a bad black eye for over a week. It wasn't pretty but when I look at it, I can't help but giggle a little because it was deserved. I don't know how much attention it really drew (H likes to pretend things didn't happen, always has), but it was something. And it was something that showed me my own strength and faith because God was the ONLY thing that kept me from calling H's mother and telling her to come get her S and his stuff since she created this monster, she could have him back. But that would have been me punishing H and God wanted me to leave H to him to deal with.

Your prayers are being heard. Trust me on that. It is hard to have the patience required sometimes to see the answers to them and I always try to remember when I pray, I sit here and want to see certain answers and God doesn't work that way. Sometimes the answers are NOT what we think we want and we don't always want to do them. That day, that they fought, I WANTED to kill H. I WANTED to call a lawyer that second. I WANTED to leave. And I told H as much. Boy nothing like mother bear instincts. LOL. But I knew I had to calm down. I went home and left them with people that I knew would protect S if need be, and I sat with myself and I prayed and yelled and told God what I wanted to do. Then I told him that I needed him to tell me what to do because underneath what I wanted, it didn't feel quite right. I was told not to do anything. To let it be what it was, a fight, and not to punish H for it. To be nice and let it be. I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to hurt him like he was hurting my S. But I was told to leave it. So I did. I argued with God for about a week about it. But then I finally said this is what you are asking me to do so I will. And I let it go, I have forgiven H, which I honestly thought would be impossible (again the mother in me) and I know that I will see God's hand in H's behavior with S as time goes by.

Sometimes we really just have to get out of His way.