Off in my own world over here and havent posted for a while. Berto, the whole legal stuff is on the back burner at the moment. I think it is just my W getting a bit tense about the at home problems and she just throws it out. Havent heard anything more about it since then. I have learnt just to let this things just happen and not react to them and in most cases they are gone and forgoton the next day.
Puting myself in my wife's shoes I can understand where she is coming from. She has it so hard in that I am this far away from her and she has to struggle against having debt collectors showing up at home to get money off her. We had a talk about it this week (funny how you can now have an R talk and it is no longer taboo and is a part of improving communicatiions - LOL) and I asked her why she didnt seem to miss me. Well the answer was probabbly one of the best indications we are back on track. She said she misses me awefully and wants me home with her, but she realises what I am doing is for the both of us and that if she was to complain to me then she would know that it would only upset me and she wanted to show she supported me and not to get me worried. Well all i can say is what a change from this time a year ago. My wife was always my strength and to an extent I can see that I am getting that strength back. Also I am starting to trust her again.
Ahh the business - drivig me nuts. I have given it another 2 weeks and then I have to look at moving on. Have all the investors in town on Monday and they say that it will all come through straight after that. Its funny at the end of this year I will either be amulit millionare or bankrupt but you know it doesnt bother me as long as I am happy, oh well shows how much you grow I guess doesnt it.
BTW we had another R talk today that resulted fron the current fincial pressures. I had brought up that if this doesnt come through then we have to look at sellling our properties to avoid bankruptcy. She said that she would be happy even if we were living in a shack as long as she was happy.
She is searching for her own independance at the moment - more financial then anything as at the moment she is realsiing how much she relies on me to provide her basic needs (let alone her more exquistie requirements: bloody $600 bonzai plants). I just let her know that this is all stuff that we need to work through together.
A funny thing that I would love some female perspective on s that whenever she does get a bit stressed one of her favorite things is to let me know that she is an attractive woman (I know this) and able to look after herself. This is not done in a threatening way at all its just a comment she throws out there. She does put a value on herself by her looks as times but this is due I think to some of the issues she went through in her younger days when she was hospitalised for manic behavoiur (BTW her mother won Miss Australia and went on to Miss Universe as Autralaia rep). I dnt undertahd her hang up about her looks but this i think was a major contribution to our problems (hitting 40 ,etc). When all is said an done she does have some major insecurities but they are a part of her so I accept them.
BTW I dont mean to make my W sound shallow, she isnt. Maybe it just represents a factor of her getting old and havng insecurities of my feelings towards her.
Anyway another rambling post.
Andrew
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To go forward you have to put the past behind you
