WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

I think it's time to back off, to really detach and bring it back to basics....meaning, you can only talk to her about logistical stuff. Maybe cut back on what you do together. And the next time she starts up with the flirting and the taking off some clothes, stop her before it begins with this: "Please dont' bother with just frustrating me. I love kissing you, it's wonderful, but you don't stop there. You take it just far enough to frustrate me and that's just mean." See where that gets you.

I think some more absence is going to make her heart grow fonder of you.

There are times when you change the game plan. First reason, what you're doing is working and it never did. Second reason, what you've done has worked, but it's now played out and now it's time to revamp, improve the game plan to get to the next level. I think you're now in the second reason category. I think what you've done has gotten you to this point, but now it's time to finish this separation off and end it with you two reconciling.

I think you can do this.

Part of me had thought that by taking this job so I was 3 hours away, it would create some more distance betweeen us. It does seem like we talk/text more now than we had done in the past. I know when I traveled on business (gone 1 week every other month), we never talked/text/emails (I would go to Europe/Asia) during that time.

I do know that to create the absense, I need to limit my contact with her relative to just the kids (I can't go completely dark with her having the kids when I'm gone).

I do like how you put it that I need to change my game plan. I know she does get jealous/curious when she finds me out or when I'm talking to a female. I guess I need her to be more "worried" about that, even though there is really nothing to be worried about.

I do hope you're right that I can turn this ship around.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.