WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Now he just says "I have already apologized for the things I did before. Those things are in the past and I WILL NOT talk about them anymore. I'm living in the present. If you want to dwell on the past the is YOUR problem."

PMA_Baby!

I have actually been saying the first line of the statement but I think the last half is an important one to start adding. Thanks for that insight.

I am seeing some glimpses of my wife thinking about her part. It has come up a couple of times recently how when she says somethings, it really isn't as clear as she had thought. Unfortunately, I think she is reading the book "Science of Success" and "The Secret" which is not the help/focus that she needs.

There is nothing I can do about that.

Stop being her girlfriend. Keep on standing for your M. Dont be her shoulder to cry on or her massage buddy. Demand she respect you. Demand that she takes her responsibilty. Do it with actions. No calls other then the boys. No dates. Be mysterious. Happy. Respectful. Nice... blah. You know what you need to do, but still think that you can CONVINCE her to come back by being nice or a "changed man", blah. They see right through it. It hasn't worked. It's not working.

That was actually another new thing that she had said last weekend. Shortly after she dropped the bomb, she had said that she didn't respect me. Last weekend, she said that she really does respect me, but then of course she transitioned into how she didn't love me anymore.

Like Puppy, 25, Sandi and others on this board. We have NEVER seen a WAS come back UNTIL the other person DROPS THE ROPE and becomes the WAS. In some cases maybe if the WAS wasn't truly commited to leaving. But...

Tonite, she had actually text me ("Did you hear that???"). Fortunately I was on a work call so I didn't respond ("What was that?") till an hour later as her text made no sense. She responded about some more problems she was having with her dryer. I just replied "Oh" and left it at that. In the past, I would have used it as an excuse to call her, but really wasn't in the mood to hear her complaining tonite. Maybe I'm detaching or just getting tired of it, or what.....

I do hear what you are all telling me. I do try but when I see her, it all goes out the window.

Even tonite, she text me earlier about how she got blocked in at my 7 year old's soccer game by the ice cream truck. I just replied back to let me know when I can say goodnite to the boys.

When I was done saying goodnite to the boys, she got on the phone and started asking when I would come home on Thurs. I just told her I wasn't sure, but would there before the soccer game and said goodbye.

I did talk to the boys tonite - it sounded like my 7 year old had a great soccer game (3 assist, 1 goal and 5 blocked goals). My 3 year old had fun with another younger kid, but then appologized for not taking any pictures for me. He did say he would draw one at school the next day so I could hang it in my office.