This thread was (is) very interesting Peace. I've read it many times and must say I find whitelight's view point something to consider.

I've been at this for 2 years now. I've never called or emailed my H's OW and we've never met. Similar to many other stories on this board my H has given up EVERYTHING to be with her. Now he has no job, no health insurance and his health is failing dramatically.

Since June he has had appendicitus, swine flu (he says) and now an ear/sinus infection.

The OW in this soap opera is vice president of a non-profit organization for the health/welfare of children. She makes twice my salary. She is an animal rights activist, has 12 cats of her own and spends mega bucks on them - including $4,000 for surgery to extend the life of one of them for a year. He told me she has very high principles sick and that she is guilt ridden over the situation.

Yes, my H told me all of this soon after the bomb. I know ultimately this is the life he chose and these are his problems, but my questions are: Do I say nothing when he is so sick? When he can't afford a doctor? When she apparently takes better care of her cats than of her "soul mate"?

I'm very worried and very concerned about him. Do I do nothing?

I've held my tongue for so long. Is it not time for the truth as whitelight suggests?

Me 56
H 47
Married 21 years
No children
Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself".
Ow Bomb 8/07
H filed 6/08
D final 2/05/10