Thank you Ashlee. I agree I need to clarify my boundaries in my own mind and then with him. I had very clearly said no drinking around me or son, and then I let that slide once or twice because things were going well and I didn't want to rock the boat. Now I need to say it again. He is overly rough with S when he is drinking and he teases him too much and it is mean and bothers S, so the boundary needs to be for S at least if not for me.
I completely agree with the boundary around the EA. I tried to let it slide and actually tried to make friends with her and her husband and then that went down hill and I think the EA got even more sick. I realize it is an affair and I think frankly that I wish he would have just gone out and had a one night stand. It would have been easier to deal with than this. Both H and OW won't call it an A. H will admit it is a sick relationship at times and that he has disrespected me repeately in his relationship with her. She has not said a word of apology and I don't expect it. Interesting because my H apologized to her H and they talked it all out, but nothing from her. OK, I am trying not to think about her and them so I am gonna stop talking about it.
I think I did well today detaching. H called this morning as he always does. I answered phone and had a short hello etc then handed over to S. Same thing this evening. I will be pleasant and have short conversations but get off phone first and not try to figure out what he is doing or who he is with. This is very hard for me. I have no access to any of his information, so I can never verify whether he is really not talking to her or someone else for that matter. I guess at this point it doesn't really matter since he hasn't gotten IC and nothing is really going to change permanently until that happens.
I am lonely and I am tired of waiting and I want someone to share my life with and wish I had no morals or values so I could just find someone else.
Have a huge charity garage sale at my house this weekend so there is a lot to do for that, so that will keep me busy. One day at a time.
