I thought that giving him a little notice was only fair, isn't it? I thought two weeks gave him a little time to get used to the idea. We could work out an agreement of what I'm taking to the apartment, get our own separate financial affairs arranged, and have arrangements worked out concerning D16. (OK, that may be a pipe dream...) The apartment is 2 bedroom so D can have her own space there in addition to her room at the house. I also need to make sure I have somewhere for S18 to sleep if he's home for the weekend from college.
I am concerned about a couple issues with telling H that I'm leaving. First off, I am NOT worried about him begging me to stay, making promises, crying, any of that. You were more on target by saying that he's going to turn this around on me- that I'm making too much out of his previous comments because of my "insecurities", focusing on the worst things he said and blowing them up (he's already accused me of that one when I reminded him in our last discussion of his cheating threat. To which he replied, "I meant that as a possibility, not a definite...) The only things he may argue are 1) waiting two years until D is done with high school, and 2) what I'm taking to the apartment. He has stated and proved that he is not willing to live in a traditional marriage long term. He is already antsy since I quit those activities last winter, and he says he hasn't attempted going out on his own out of respect for my feelings. Not that he doesn't want to- he told me that he has a couple of women picked out whom he would like to contact. I should be feeling grateful for that, I guess. And I'm sure he is going to be furious at the financial hit this is going to take on us.
I am sure H is going to play up my alleged insecurities and confidence issues when he tells his family that we split. No way will he mention his role in the breakdown. After all, why would he tell them he pushed swinging in our marriage? That was why I thought I would tell his sister- so someone in his family knows that this isn't all my fault. The plan I was considering: showing her the profiles he set up on the websites and having her witness my deleting the joint ones (his single male profile I can't touch). Call H to meet me at his sister's and tell him I was leaving, and head home. His sister can talk to him and support him after I leave. I'm really thinking he has a sex addiction besides his control issues- maybe she can talk him into getting an IC for himself. Depending on how he takes things, I can move myself into our son's room temporarily until I moved to the apartment since he will have left for college a few days earlier. I am open to suggestions to this plan if anybody has any- am I missing anything?
