I've been quizzing my bf a bit, like I said to Julia, for myself, but also.. for you all here I wish I could help a little with the mind of a WAS. So, when you said..
"Al- you're right that my H is incredibly confusing. He even said to me himself yesterday that I probably know how bad he is at making decisions! It was tempting to say that he'd definitely made some bad ones but I didn't; maybe he's realising himself that he did."
My bf is exactly the same, really bad decision maker. In regards to the ow.. he said to me.. he made a BAD decision.. that he didnt think it through, it just happened and also, that when it did he didnt know what he was doing, who he was or what he wanted. BUT.. once it happened, he felt SOOOO guilty, he couldnt even speajk to me (I ended up emailing him if you remember). He didnt know what to say, he knew I;d be upset and as he still cared about me, he felt awful and didnt know how to put it right., So what did he do he said? Nothing, I buried my head in the sand. Another bad decision.
I asked him why he started an R with ow, if he thought when he met her/ran off with her.. yes, she would make a good life partner for me rather than Al. He said he never thought of it that way and didnt think it through at all, whether or not she would make a good life partner.
I dont know if that helps, but often it seems, EVERY thing I had intuition about was pretty spot on. I guess we know our partners so well and if your H is anything like my bf, hes perhaps reather transparent in some respects. So you probably have a good measure of him. He doesnt know what he is doing and didnt make a good decision.
Thikning of you lisa, keep us posted ! xxxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hi Lisa, I forget how parallel our timelines are...I had my bomb anniversary on 7/2, completely anticipated feeling upset about it, but forgot about it the day of and didn't remember until the next day. I was really happy about that. The wedding anniversary was on 7/19, which was really hard and I didn't forget that. Ugh.
I'm so jealous, though, that you are going to Ibiza! How amazing!
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
I feel like it's a reunion on my thread! Thankyou all for visiting!
Lovely- your comment about the peas just made me LOL. That was so funny! I'm almost tempted to ask H if he wants to eat peas when he comes round but I feel it might disturb him if I did that. Gosh, but it'd make me laugh a lot! How are you? I saw you'd talked to B for a long while. I'm dying for an update!
K- you know the answer to your questions. Plain old yoga- nothing naughty at all
Al- thanks for popping by and for your really thoughtful post, and the insights from BF. I agree that intuition is a very strong tool. I guess my instincts still tell me that H and the aubergine don't have an emotionally connected R. The people I know who know him and her were telling me last week that they think it's an R based solely on s*x. Hard to know how to respond to that. I still think H is unhappy, and that at some point he might realise that he made a mistake leaving 'us'. But I doubt whether he has the strength to say it to me. I guess we'll see what happens!
Beth- I also forget how similar our timelines are.... I'm glad your anniversaries went by without too much heartache, although the wedding anniversary does sound hard. Mine will be on August 28th, but I'll be in Ibiza then so hopefully that wil help. How are you doing? How is H? And your CEO? I want all the news!
So, this week I saw H on Wednesday morning at a seminar. We had coffee before the seminar started, then sat together during, and then had lunch afterwards. The seminar was terrible- really dull! But it gave us both something to talk about. Nothing major of interest happened. H didn't bring up the D papers, or tell me if he'd signed them, and I didn't ask. The deadline for him to respond was yesterday. I presume he's done it, but I guess I'll hear from the court about whether he did or not next week. Unbelievable that H didn't even mention it once! I decided not to say anything because I feel like I'm the only one who ever mentions the D. I'm sure in H world if he could pretend we were never married and just forget about it he would.
On a related note I think H may be going on holiday over our wedding anniversary. I'm not too worried about it as I'm going away then too and I'm going to have more fun than him in any case. (At least I should do if number of new clothes is proportional to amount of fun that will be had). He hasn't asked me about holidays so I haven't told him I've booked one.
Date guy has asked me out again. I'm comtemplating what to say to that. Sperm donor guy seems to have become a bit keen on me too. I'm contemplating what to do about that- it's not ideal.
CEO is CEO. He got another potential deal sorted out for us this week so well done him. My job will be safe for another 4-6 months at least. Good news, especially considering the money I've spent on new things I've bought for my holiday. I think I have everything I need now though, apart from my favourite hat which seems to have either been stranded in Athens (which is the last place I remember seeing it!) or mysteriously vanished from within my flat.
I got an e-mail from H this morning about his flat move, telling me all about it in some detail. It ended with him suggesting meeting up on Thursday evening in the area where I live. He didn't suggest actually coming to the flat but a drink instead. I guess we'll see if he clarifies on the day.
At the end of his mesage was a PS about the second last bill we pay together, asking if I would mind if we changed it over to my account and put the bill into my name. That's fine, since I've been waiting for him to suggest it for the last 2 years, but I was a bit surprised that it appeared just like that today. I guess it fits with him moving and sorting out his bills, which he wrote as a kind of justificatin for asking in his e-mail. I assume that him asking to sort that out means he signed the paperwork last week..... no news from my solicitor on that though so it's just conjecture. I hate getting divorced. It's really not nice.
Anyway....
CEO told me today that he was talking to his Mum about me at the weekend. Not just work stuff- he was apparently discussing my relationship with my brothers and Dad with her. Maybe I'd have been surprised by that, but I wasn't since we're going on the same holiday and I guess he probably mentioned me being there in passing and that they followed the conversation up. Just for clarity, we are still not seeing each other- it's a coincidence that we've ended up booking the same trip. It'll be....interesting, at least.
LOL, NOW you tell us you are going together!!! Next thing we know, you are moving to his "little" house (to save on gas) and then... you will get the sperm you wanted without the donor...
My Lady, good things ahead... Wonderful things... No looking back now. Love M
