We all have our pity party time. I still have mine from time to time a year later.
How is your day today? It know it feels lonely when you have shared your life with someone and they are gone and they seem to be fine and you are a mess. I have been there. The trick is not to "let them see you sweat". She is only feeling so care free right now because she doesn't realize what she is missing. It will come in time, but it can take a lot of time in some cases, so if you want to do this, get yourself ready to have a whole lot of patience. In time you too will realize that you lost yourself and became a different person in the marriage and as you fine yourself again, she will see the change.
Just to let you know I am checking in on you and wishing you the best.
