I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[The Wifey]

Beepee,

What do you want? Absent THIS particular man, that is. Do you want to be loved and valued or used and abused? Could it be that you were depressed BECAUSE of him and/or how your relationship was?

This is important and there will be a test. The test of life.

No it was not a great life to live with a depressed wife. It is never easy to live with a depressed person. But is that all there is? No. He chose to be unfaithful, which is never a respectful, loving action toward a spouse. No matter how he felt, he CHOSE to have a fling.

Can you be happy with OR without him? You have to be before you can really judge if your M and R are worth saving. Can it be that he has been using you for a long time? Not that he never loved you - I'm sure he did - but some people are not able to have healthy relationships because they haven't taken responsibility for their lives.

I don't see a man. I don't see a boy that has taken responsibility for his life. I see a woman just starting to take responsibility for hers. You need to grow and become strong before you even figure out what you want in life.

My wish for you is that you would make the hardest choice possible of letting him twist in the wind a bit. Perhaps the deadline he is up against will make him examine his life, or maybe not.

You can not let him be an anchor around your neck while you are trying to float your balloon into a hopeful future.

I'm not telling you what to do, Beepee. All I know is if you really love him that you will let him take responsibility here and not play the rescuer.

Your heart WILL know what to do.