I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[beepee]

25: Thanks so much for your response.

So the issue is why you were once willing to sign, and are not now, and if there is hope that this M is 1) worth saving and 2) likely to be saved.

I was willing to before because I really missed him and wanted him back and never thought he was capable of shutting me out of his life and being as selfish as he is being now. I'm leaning towards not signing because I'm being used and its obvious and I don't think I should do this for someone who doesn't love me and who's hurt me in the way he did and isnt willing to take any of the blame for the failed M.

I think the M is worth saving because I love him and I don't want to hold grudges and I'd like to move on from the past and continue with a new R with him, but he has made it very clear that there is no chance of reconciliation. So, if there is no chance, I don't see why I should do this.

What are your goals at this point?

My goal right now is to not be used and abused and I feel like that is what he is doing to me. If he doesnt want to make the effort and even just try to work on us, I don't think I can sign the papers. I don't see a point. But I am conflicted because I still Love him SOO MUCH and that part of me wants to do it for him to make him happy and to keep him in the states. If he has to go back, I'll never see him again. I am really scared of losing him forever but at this point, it already seems like I lost him.

does he owe you money?

He left me behind with bills that were both of ours and I ended up having to pay them myself when I don't even work. I have absolutely no money and I had to borrow from friends to be able to pay the bills. He promised me money for it but never sent it.

OR is he more likely to say (to himself), "good thing I can call her as my last resort, b/c she's needy and I can probably use her..."

I think this has a lot of truth to it and I do believe thats exactly what he is thinking.

when else has he contacted you?

Only when I contact him. I havent seen or spoken to him for nearly 2 months. The only contact has been through email and he usually doesnt answer my emails and he NEVER contacts me unless I contact him. I was also paying for his cell phone and he would never pick up my calls or respond to my voicemails so I shut off his phone and he gave me a guilt trip. Wow, I never saw this before, but I just realized this..I emailed him and he never emailed me back UNTIL the day I shut off his phone, and now, he didnt respond to my email from a couple weeks back UNTIL NOW, when he needs something. Its just so obvious he is just using me, I know. Its very hard though when I'm still in love with him

How long did he take to reply to your email?

2 weeks

What is your rush to answer him?

No rush at all, I just need some advice. I wont reply for a few days if not a week. I fear that I still won't know what to do in that time..