In a strange way, I think real consequences to his actions would make him feel better...maybe? Because holding him accountable shifts the energy, and he'll have to work if he wants to keep you. He's kept you off balance...why change?
SD
Trying to understand this part. Feel better meaning, feel justified in his actions? Or feel better about trying again if he is held accountable? Sorry I am a little confused...
Let me see if I can explain. Have you ever done something wrong, anticipated really bad consequences, and then they're nothing like you expected? Sort of mild? But you know what you did was really bad, and the ease with which you got by almost feels worse? So, I guess I'm thinking maybe Dan would be relieved to be held accountable, in a good way. He knows he did wrong...but he wasn't ever really held accountable for it. He just blamed you like a little boy trying to get out of trouble.
I'm not saying he'll hug you and thank you, and I don't even think he'd be able to articulate it. However, I think this sort of boundary-holding 180 with true moving on/detachment might help him drop that BBJ is a big meanie shield.
I don't know...maybe I'm wrong. When I read that he's said those things to you, I sort of want to say, "Well, I have no guarantee, belief or trust that you won't go screw some other nasty ho' either, but I'm willing to give it a shot."
Such a little boy he is....
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
