Reconciliation after divorce

[Sanderika]

Hi bonny,

IMO stay dark.

Leave H adrift in his thoughts and self.

I am of the opinion, if they want to talk to us, they contact us.
If they don't want to they don't.

My H recently told me he appreciated my non-contacting approach. He said it gave him time to focus and evaluate his troubles and wants alone. I actually came right out and told him I don't contact him for anything because I do not want to be one of his problems. He said he noticed and that was one of the things I do that gives him a huge amount of respect for me.

Bonny it is so hard to know what to do because we don't know what they are actually thinking. It's all guesswork.

My H announced once again in court he wanted to postpone to work on us. I posted his court email on my thread. It reads very nice. I haven't heard from him since. Seriously. I have to tell you I am in a bad place right now. I feel lots of emotions and not one is joy.

Like you I don't know what to do next. I do know my H is very busy right now with work. I will maintain my no contact. I would love to call him and say hello and just let him know I am interested in his projects, I won't though.

It's kind of a self-preservation tool as well. If we don't attempt contact we don't risk getting hurt. I am all about saving my heart from more pain. In the past 4 years I have had more than my fair share.

Your H is going to need a lot of time to become your friend again like mine did. I wish you had a reason to contact him, it creates opportunity for him to see you are not his enemy, rather a friend instead. Can you come up with anything for a reason?

Keep the positive thoughts...time eases tensions between people,
I can attest to the truth in that for sure.

Sanderika