First post - was a lurker, now need to talk

[Bagheera]

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Bagheera:

"Great! He's shown you that he's more open than you may have thought to being approached by you sexually: take advantage of it! Men do absolutely love it when their woman initiates.

However, this does beg the question from me: how well does HE do at romancing and seducing *you* anymore? Has he continued The Chase of boy pursues girl with you (something women generally NEVER tire of), or has he fallen into the common male trap of figuring that now that he's caught the girl, his chasing days are over? BZzzzttt! Wrong answer if that's the case, and a lesson that you may have to teach him, with time."
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What would be some ways I could do this?
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I think that at some point, you're going to have to just tell him (in a nice, non critical way) that courting behavior --> pursuit, romancing, seduction, are VERY important toward making you feel desired, cherished, loved, and in response, amorous and desirous of being with HIM sexually. You'll need to explain that women never tire of "the chase" (just point out to him the rows and rows of Romance novels at the local store, and the women of ALL ages who read them), and that part of keeping the romance and passion **alive** in a marriage is to never consider "the chase" done. Tell him (tongue-in-cheek) that he needs to practice the catch-and-release style of fishing when it comes to seducing you: chase you, catch you, ravish you, and then release you in order to chase again. It's a never-ending adult game.

I personally learned this lesson when I read John Gray's stuff (Mars/Venus books), followed by David Schnarch's Passionate Marriage, and then confirmed it with my own wife in actual practice. If he responds well to constructive reading suggestions, that's another avenue for you.

-- B.