I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[1853dave]

Hi C-Bart,

Man, it's a tough ride.... I see you've been at this for quite a while. I would highly recommend calling a DB counselor. No, I certainly don't work for them (HA!) but after paying literally MANY thousands to attorneys, investigators, mediators, and just the emotional cost of life lately, I GLADLY pay the DB folks to help me. They really have been the ONLY people interested in helping me, and I truly say that. My attorney? Well, he tried to protect me, but what did he really do for me? I often wonder if I would have done fine just representing myself. Any gains in ANY of this have come ONLY from my actions, which were guided by the DB folks, and a few other supportive people. My counselor is wonderful, and very insightful, and apparently pretty experienced, and she is very patient with me. I don't think I would have come this far without her support. I see very tiny signs of improvement and she's able to see actually what a huge step it really is! She puts tings into a perspective I might not otherwise see. She supports me when I'm ready to give up, and she is a great cheerleader when I do something good. Her guidance is key to my success. This is not smoke and mirrors, this is identifying your behaviors, and identifying patterns, and doing things that will eventually start to turn the tables and stack life in your favor.

There have been MANY times it seemed absolutely hopeless, and she will tell me to hang in there, that it can still change, and she's seen changes happen before, and she was always right!

I'm not out of the woods yet, and of course there are no guarantees, but you can probably guess what is more likely to happen if you don't at least try to DB effectively. I suppose a person could wing it on their own, and I'm sure some have successfully, but the cost of the DB counselor is very small compared to getting a divorce.

My DB counselor had been out of town lately, as she went back east to teach classes on Solution-based Therapy (at the college where she received her Master's Degree), which is what DB is based upon. These folks didn't just take some 20 hour training course - they are professionals who I believe really know what they're doing.

Anyway, if you ask me, I highly recommend calling and meeting with a DB counselor. It may be the best money you ever spend...

Good luck with your sitch. And keep letting folks on the forum know what's going on too, as there's a lot of help on here too.