d1...you're in for a longhaul here so you'd better ante up in the patience department. I'd get your FIL to back off. Been there done that. Total backfire.

I hate writing this but your W sounds just like mine did 3 years ago. It's a common pattern. Read the pdf above. It's frightening but held a lot of truth for my W.

I admire your will....I had the same once. Maybe you'll fare better. Back off her. Stop the R talk. Don't try and have family or friends 'talk sense into her'. Vent here. Read and better yourself. Use this time to develop a better set of tools...you'll need them. Find a way to destress.

My advice to most still sticks....begin to grieve the loss of the marriage that you once had because it's NOT going back to what it was. Let go...detach...and grieve. It's the only chance anyone has....that they see their S 'leaving' emotionally. Get Dr. Gray's blue book...Venus Mars Saying Goodbye...to get an understanding of loss of love and also to understand what denial means especially when applied to the 'hope for reconciliation' that is promulgated here.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;