John....everyone most make an attempt to save their M...IMO..unless you are truly in a destructive one..meaning drugs, physical abuse, etc. After awhile, as I've posted, it becomes the old fable The Emperor's New Clothes. People become afraid to stand up and say, "Hey....your spouse is f'd up and you need to get out". If you DO say that, frequently, you will be scorned here.

Fear...is a terrible thing to have to confront here. Loss of companionship, loss of intimacy, loss of time with our children, loss of financial security, loss of shared friends.......

Even for 'middle-aged' people like most of us....whether you played football, fly a jet, teach a class of 200 people or operate on people...it's pretty scary.

But hanging on forever...in denial....I think..is even more frightening.

I think..that...unless you are a religious stander (I know some people still standing even after their spouse has remarried, UGH)...you go through your shock and grief; you re-evaluate your sitch, marriage, etc. You take charge and make every effort to save it, change and GAL. You then step back and re-evaluate. Then...the most difficult part of all....is to make a decision. File....or.....(no, I won't say stand)...stay in denial.

JMO.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;