Just when you think everything is moving on a good path you get pulled back into the the old times. I was starting to get my trust back with the wife but things took a blow today.
For those that are familiar with my sitch a lot of our problems were over money and in particular my wifes ability to spend it. Through our seperation she was convinced that I was hiding money from her, which I wasnt. Through this period she also ran up debts of over 120,000 in addition to 60,000 she either took off me or i gave her.
When we got back together I said that I would fix up these debts but that I didnt have any money and as soon as it came in from the business I would do it. On top of this I have refinanced our property to get access to more money as well. We still dont have money from the business here but it is expected to be in by the end of next week and in addition the paperwork for the refinancing has taken a lot longer then it was suppowsed to as documents have to be sent from Australia to India and back.
In the interim I have been meeting some of the debts through borrowing off friends and family (over 15000). Now I know my wife is having a hard time as creditors are continually calling her chasing up mony. I have entered into agreements with most of them for repayment over the next few months.
Well today she has 'demanded' off me 25000 because she 'knows' that I am hiding it in assetts overseas. I tried to explain it to her that I am not but there is no convincing her. In the end she got very angry on the phone and started accusing me of affairs while we were together ans saying that I am living a high life in a mansion (which I definately am not). Every cent I have been able to get my hands on I have given to her even though my own debts continue to rise. After this she finished by saying that i am lying and manipulating her and have done so through our whole time together and then she hung up on me. I know this might just be pressure from the creditors talking but a whole bunch of red flags were waving at me (I heard so much of this through our seperation).
Through this call she said she loved me and that I was her best friend but that she just cant trust me . Like what the hell am I supposed to do. I had arranged another 15,000 for her to get some of the imediate debts done until I get business money and loan money in two weeks. But this isnt good enough for her.
Now I am confused about what to do. If I get this money for her she will just think that its from my secret stash and I will validate her behaviour of threatening me and yelling me to get moeny. Im in the worst catch 22. She tells me to be honest and that she 'knows' I have money stashed away. If I just give her money then she confirms this thinking, if I am honest and keep trying to explain to her that I dont have any and that it will be through next week she then is convinced that I am a liar.
To be honest today I just thought 'why the hell am I doing this to myself'. I talked to her father who understands what I am doing over here and he is going to try to talk to her (without letting her know that I have talked to him).
In the end I dont know what to do at the moment. Things were going well between us and now they seem to be at a stalemate and back to square one. I tried to reason with her but she has closed her mind. I dont mind going into debt for her because it will be paid out when the funds come in, but today for he first time I felt like becomming the walk away.
Anyway I would love your thoughts, I will talk to her tomorrow and at the moment if she is like she was tonight my thought is to tell her no more. I will do anything for her but not at emotional toll that she has extratced from me today.
Andrew
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To go forward you have to put the past behind you
. Like what the hell am I supposed to do. I had arranged another 15,000 for her to get some of the imediate debts done until I get business money and loan money in two weeks. But this isnt good enough for her.
