Give it to me straight!

[BobbiJo]

Thanks so much for sharing, I always appreciate input!

Last night Dan came over at 9:15. He wanted to see the kids since he didn't go to Canada, and I told him sorry, they were going to Bible school until 8:30.

Sydney got up in his lap and asked him the pajama thing again (when are you going to bring your jammies and toothbrush home Daddy?). He said, "Maybe someday, honey". Wtf way to screw with her mind.

He put the kids to bed and came out. I asked him about counselor's suggestions for Nathan--Dan took Nathan to counselor Saturday and he wanted to talk about how he was afraid to sleep in his room, afraid of monsters b/c daddy wasn't there to keep him safe.

Anyway we got on a tangent about Sydney wanting to sleep in the basement (the playroom downstairs is a third bedroom, right now she and Nate sleep in same room upstairs). He said, "Who told her she could? She doesn't need to yet." Then he said, "If you told her that she could someday then she doesn't understand that, she is too little...she will think it means now." I just said, "Oh, I noticed you told her you would move home 'maybe someday'..."

Anyway it degenerated to him saying he couldn't even look at me anymore, he would love me till the day he died but he couldn't forgive me for not supporting his desire to buy the piece of the farm 3 years ago--right before he started his A. I told him forgiveness was a choice. He said he couldn't trust that I would be there to support him b/c I wasn't there the ONE time he needed my support (the farm thing).

I said I disagreed w/his decision but it was his decision to make. Then I asked him which address he wanted on kids' registration forms for school as I have to register them on Friday. He said, "Just write 'Dad-Homeless'" and then went on about how I didn't get it, it was going to rain overnight and I was in a nice dry house, meanwhile he was worried that his piece of sh!t renovation was going to leak...

I just told him that he chose to be homeless and to have a leaking p.o.s. house, he had children and a wife who wanted him and a nice house to live in and he chose to leave it. Then I just had to ask, I asked "What do you gain from refusing to forgive? From holding a grudge? You get to be homeless and have a p.o.s. house, and be angry and depressed. How is that worth it?" I think I struck a nerve...

So he got up and left and as he left he told me "You just think I am a pedophile rapist. You're crazy"--referring to the porn addict info. I had given him awhile back. I never said anything about pedophile or rapist, I said he had an unhealthy need for porn and strippers.

It is what it is. The guy just texted me to chit-chat on Friday and on Saturday. He took me out to dinner last Friday and paid. Yet he can't even look at me? And I am the crazy one...

He hasn't talked to me that way before, ever. Except for immediately after I busted him with his affair partner, when he snapped at me "We ARE getting divorced". But he never called me names.

On the plus side, that exchange last night did it for me. The rope isn't dropped, I cut it. Detachment is a strange thing. Thought I had it a few times before but now that I know how it feels, I realize it never did...