Back again...unfortunately

[lynn97]

Well it's been over a year since I've been here and I'm afraid to say I'm back again. I can't find my old posts so I'll just give a brief history.

Been married for almost 12 years. Got married very young due to pregnancy. 2 kids 11 and 6. First time I used DB'ing was when my wife had her first PA about 8 years ago. She had another EA last year which ended in us reconciling. This time I can say that there isn't another man.

W just feels "dead inside" and wants a "real" connection with someone. I admit I haven't been keeping the DB'ing going very well for the past 6-8 months and let too many things slide. Now the magic is gone, the connection is gone, and she's decided to move out and "take a break".

So that's where I'm at. At first I smothered her, I've since backed away and am working on GAL. I'm being positive around her and telling her that it is good for her to take some time for herself and sort things out. Being lovingly distant I guess.

Besides our lack of communication and dropping the ball on keeping up the DB'ing I think our marriage isn't that bad. However I do believe my wife doesn't have a life. She doesn't have many friends and rarely gets out of the house even if I try to get her too. Basically her life has revolved around me and the kids for so long and she wants more. I can totally understand this. I've tried to support her in everything she does to make her life better. To me though it seems she just stop trying and I feel like I'm getting blamed for her lack of initiative to do her own thing. Maybe it's my fault for trying to be everything for her. I really don't know.

Does anyone else have experience with the housewife blues or whatever you would call this? Is there a better way to DB in this situation besides GAL and lovingly detaching?

Thanks.
Lynn