Yup, you are right about all of that. This is his journey.
There was a time there when I was trying to figure out how I could be the damsel in distress....because that's what OW plays up. Says she's so confused about this that and the other....and she's really not but knows that guys eat that up. Eventually it occured to me....I can't think of anything because I'm not that person. I've never asked anyone to bail me out, so put that stupid idea to rest.
The whole thing now is just annoying. Last night he had the audacity to text with her because she FINALLY got the call....someone offered her a job back home and it's official. When I figured out it was her, I told him to leave our bedroom. Then when it continued I said "Look. Here's my boundary. This is our time with you (me and son). She does not get any of that. You deal with her crap on your time, not ours. We've earned this time with you by loving and respecting YOU as the man of this house. The least you can do is respect us enough to not do this crap in front of us. You have some freaking nerve." He then sent her the last text saying good night. I was livid. Then he wants to freaking snuggle. I figure that as an indication he agreed with me but won't say it out right.
My therapist said he's just not seeing what a big deal this is to me because it's really not a big deal to him anymore. Therapist believes H really does have contempt for her and really does want to see her leave and is being supportive in her efforts to get a new job.
I say beam me up Scotty.
I feel like and I could be wrong, that H is not going to be able to fully concentrate on us until OW is no longer 20 feet away from him at work Monday thru Friday. It's very distracting. I have a very strong feeling that when she leaves, we'll see a huge upswing in us, we'll hit a fun strong loop in this roller coaster and maybe even be able to get off.
I'm going to continue with a renewed effort to Act As If....
