Yes, over the weekend, when I gave him praise, compliments, smiles and two origami notes, he got all melty and positively glowed. One of the notes was even romantic and that's the one that got the biggest response.
Oh, okay.....I see what you are saying now. But this seems to be more like words of affirmation for him rather than physical affection. I remember us talking about that in the beginning of your thread. So, is that his LL? And, the physical affection is "your" LL? I have thought about what you said last night and your feelings as the WAS and your H as the LBS. It is very difficult to always know the “right” way when people have opposite natures in how they handle situations. For me, I always say to stick with what works. If your H responds when you give him words of affirmation, then that is the road to take. As the LBS, his self-esteem has been crushed and his male ego has taken a beating. Your esteem hasn’t exactly been built up either! However, in reading your posts, I get the feeling that you are past that part and are ready to forgive and move forward…..hopefully with your H. I admire how you wrote about working through the pain and found that you still loved him.
It seems that as long as you can stay away from any words that hint at being a “family” again that you are doing the best thing in what you are practicing. To me, it would be something I would want to exercise caution in not coming on to him too strongly…..but again, that is my nature and you probably can be very natural and easy with how you talk to him. Wish I could be more that way! Perhaps you could teach me how to say things to your H without sounding too…”yuck”….(lol).
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
