Agh! He's detached completely!

[bluerain]

Hi, Im sorry for all the stress, this is the last thing you need when you are going through stressful times at work!

I want to caution you against dating. Even though you are separated, it could really bite you in the butt. H could use it against you, why should he offer spousal support when you are having an A, dont doubt he will do it, people do the most bizzare things in the throes of a D. And if you really want things to work out with Gizmo, I think that its a good idea to not enter into your R with him with all the baggage of a rebound. Im not judging you, I dated early in my separation too, it turned out to be a big mistake. I think that if there is any chance of reconciling, dating just makes a big mess. And if you and gizmo are going to be great together you will be great together after the D. Or at least after your H signs the papers!

I really feel too like I dont have it in me to give my full self to a new R while I still have all this going on with H, when I want to reconcile, its not fair to start a new relationship.

Ive heard people call them revenge affairs, I sort of disagree with that, for me at least. It was more about proving to myself that I was desireable, and worthy, even though H was acting like I wasnt.