A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

See, here's the problem for me:

If you're the one who's had the EA, you're supposed to be loving, caring, reassuring, fill your spouse's love buckets, apologize, show remorse, be affectionate, etc. (i.e. - pursue)

But if you're the LBS, you're supposed to detach, GAL, NOT pursue.

I'm both.

So what the heck do I do - those things are diametrically opposed? If it's Monday, I must be in Paris?

And to make it even harder, the LL stuff was working!! And it's next to impossible to know from moment to moment whether I'm supposed to be LLing or detaching and GALing? He kinda flips on a dime that way and I'm not always certain of the triggers.