Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[peacetoday]

yes
we have to keep going and like you said to me with dinity and honor
sometimes I wish my X would notice how hraded this was for me
how much pain
how many changes
how mnany tears, prayers and therapy
how much energy I put into standing
yest all he sees is IM the BAD guy
who set LIMITS on his mlc
peace

[cagzmom]

self centered
liar
cheat
can't live "alone" has to have a person to fill the void
still doesn't see he did anything wrong
lacks the desire to be responsible

and this is who i wish back in my life?

[cagzmom]

My new anniversary date was yesterday. 1 year divorced. It came and went and to be honest I didn't think about it till right now. (though many lingering memories the days before)

So many holidays/birthdays have passed since it ended and he moved out. my daughter is soon to turn 13 - another "monumental" moment of which we will not share as one -as a family.

But what am I going to do? sit around and mope - or keep doing this moving forward thing? It seems as though we really have no choice. that is what time -days-years are telling me. You have to wake up in the morning, go to bed at night -- it is just what you do... and right now in my life I feel a bit like ground hog day. Push the button go - turn off the light sleep.

I have to believe that life will begin WITHIN me again some day. That the death of love will heal and that hte scare tissue will not be so tender.


i have to believe.............

[peacetoday]

C
time goes so fast
and yes one day we will look back probably still with some sadness
but hopefully we will have moved on and found our way into a full life with new R and meaning
peace

[cagzmom]

had a dream that made me wake up crying.
very very sad today.

[kissak]

Hey Cagz....thinking of you.

[peacetoday]

C
Hope you are better
peace

[cagzmom]

good counseling session.

learning - living - trying to grow

[cagzmom]

sometimes i think my mind wonders to him because i get bored. like i need a fill so i go back to old faithful. HA! No pun intended. but i do wonder.

[cagzmom]

Not doing well.

d12 is meeting the new one.

I am jealous NOT of him now though. Mixed feelings YES-- But different then bimbo #1. He WAS respectful and called me to tell me... and I DO appreciate that. AT LEAST he did that right.

I am jealous because I am so picky in my own dating choices. I am jealous because I have no desire really to date. I am jealous that I am still stuck and he has moved on.

This SUCKS