First Timer

[sandi2]

You have to stop expecting to see your W act like a normal person b/c she is not going to do that. You keep asking these questions in your post as if you are still pondering the whys & hows, etc. She is a WAW and she is not going to suddenly start talking with logic, nor is she going to see her own faults, nor is she going to stop putting you down. She will continue to make you out to be the bad guy in the stitch b/c she is trying to justify her reasons to D you. No, she is not realistic about the money and affording her own expenses living alone b/c she is fantasizing about how great it will be to live without you. Nothing you say to her at this point is going to change her mind about "you". The less you say to her about The R, the better.

I do see you as possibly being a controlling person. There are certain things in your posts that point to being a perfectionist. Maybe there are a lot of things about you that have built on her nerves and she just doesn’t feel like she can take it any longer. However, I suspect there is more to the story. We all have our quirks. I know that the longer people are M, the more changes you face and a couple has to adjust or they will grow apart. Those transitions are not easy and certainly not fun.

I believe if you would “drop the rope” and just let her go, that would be you best option at this point in the stitch. I don’t understand why she called and told you how much a lawyer would cost. She’s the one seeking a D, so does she think you are going to shell out the bucks for her to get a D from you? I do feel that you should get a separate bank account to deposit your money. You can pay the expenses for the house and the children and she can make it on her earnings as of right now. As long as she has control over your money, then she will not feel the sting of the bee (know what I mean?)