Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
So about two weeks ago a BIG change in me occurred. Friday night I have my kids and my son has a mild asthma attack and W forgot to pack inhaler. I call her and tell her I need to come and get it, she says no I'll bring it it was my fault...I said he's there isn't he...no answer...I say just leave it on the front porch, I'll pick it up. So I go over there don't see it, this is about 10:30pm so I ring the doorbell she shows me where it is...Then she starts trying to tell me something I say, I don't care what you have to say go F#$% your boyfriend and leave.
Felt very bad all weekend still had fun with the kids got them a Wii played that a lot.
So Sunday night I talked with a few friends about what happened and I was FINALLY able to detach I mean REALLY detach.
Monday I did call and apologize for what I said...While I think what she is doing is disrespectful what I did was also and two wrong don't make a right.
So usually when I call to talk to the kids W gets on after and we usually chat for 10-15 minutes...Now all I say is, is there anything you need to tell me about the kids if she says no then I say ok bye...
As the days progressed and I ask her just about the kids she's sounding more and more depressed.
Last Thursday when I called to talk to the k's she wouldn't let me get off the phone, just kept saying oh one more thing...this went on for 20 minutes...
Then when I got the kids this Friday I had a piece of mail that she gave me, and this may sound stupid but she also gave me some bubble gum, my favorite kind...I LOVE bubble gum...
Now I'm not saying any of this trying to "fix" my M cuz I think it's too late...The reason for the post is I no longer feel a need to want to talk to W, and that, for a lack a better word feels good.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I like the reaction that got from your W. Another example of detaching and making it known and all of a sudden she starts rethinking things. Interesting.
Maybe there is hope yet.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
VD, you are entering the "good place"; the place where true detachment and self-prioritization takes place. I am happy for you! There will be backslides and reversions, but each day propels you a little further than the day before.
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
Tuesday my D has an accident on a playground up with inlaws...W left a message on cell at 6:30 about it and to call her...I don't get message till 8 my battery died. So I call leave her a message, no call back. In the morning I call inlaws leave a message, no call back...Finally inlaws call Thursday morning...REALLY pi$$ed me off, I shouldn't have to wait that long to find out what happened. D is ok just needed five stitches.
Friday I get a call from W...she lost our dog (she's 16 years old)...She said dog was going crazy in the backseat and noticed she had pooped all over, never did this before...As she was trying to get her on a leash dog got away and took off across a four lane highway into a field...She looked for hours and couldn't find her. It's about an hour north of her house. I do feel bad for her I know it hurts we got that dog right after we got M.
Sunday is S bday so W had me and SIL over for dinner...One thing I noticed is that up until last Friday there was a picture of Me, W and S on what used to be my nightstand...it's gone now...Funny thing is it didn't really bother me...I assume new friend wouldn't be comfortable with it there...
It's almost like I want to be upset but I'm not, sure it hurts a little but not like the days of can't sleep or eat...There have been times I've sort of caught myself trying to get upset, how weird is that?
One last thing, I hate when she wears the three stone diamond ring I got her for our 10th anniversary. She had it on yesterday.
Last edited by volleydog; 08/11/0904:21 PM.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Wow the last few days weird as all get out...Last night for example, D started cheerleading and last night was first practice. W told me the time but not where. I sent her an email saying I know you told me the time but not sure you told me where practice is, thanks in advance...get a one word email back...
So I show up at practice and have no idea where at the school the practice is so I call her...
W: yea Me: Hey do you know where at the school the practice is at the school? W: (sighs)It's by the picnic tables Me: I don't see any but maybe it's just around the corner W: Well there on the west-side and there can only be one west side right? Me: Thanks bye
So I find it get there W and S are sitting together...She doesn't even look at me, ok whatever...S and I go and play explore the woods and wetlands play on the playground, great time...practice is over and D comes over to play with me and S while W is meeting with coach...W comes over and starts joking acting all nice...
I keep getting this from her...cold and distant one minute friendly the next...I really don't care which she wants to be I just wish she'd stick with one or the other, prefer friendly but want a little consistency.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Yea, not the competitive kind they cheer for the 2nd and 3rd grade flag football teams. She was going to do soccer but saw cheerleading on the form as an option so she took it, wasn't what W or I wanted but she likes it.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Not sure what's going on with K's this weekend...It's my weekend and we're having fun, getting ready to go to the pool and then a picnic...They are VERY clingy this weekend way more than normal and have asked numerous times if I'm coming home, they've been told about the D...S has asked a few times if we can do stuff as a family again soon.
I have no idea what's going on with them and have no idea what to say...W is on vacation with SIL this week and don't want to call her about this but MAYBE(?) talk with her when she gets back.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
