Thank you both for your perspective. You are so right on. I know I need to stop all conversation about the OW. It is so hard cause I want to know what it is she does or says that seems to make her "so understanding". It's idiotic and unhealthy and I need to stop it. I also know I need to stop talking to him when he is drunk. I have been going to an alanon type group and it's funny because a lot of the language is the same, "detached with love" they say. I get caught up when things are going well and we are all happy together and he is telling me all the things I have been waiting to hear and helping around the house, etc. etc. Then bam I am reminded he is sick and needs help before any of that is ever going to be better.
He came to the house this morning of course feeling like an ass...I just told him I hoped he would get help and let him know our son is confused and it is not fair to him. Try to keep myself out of it.
I need the reminders and I need to be more of a harda**. I waiver between being pissed and being sad for him because he is so sick. I made a committment to our marriage through sickness and health but that doesn't mean I have to be walked on and I have to remember that.
