A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Hi, Coach,

The move is better for me on every angle except immediate financial. I like the area (leaving H aside), there are good long-term job prospects, kidlet likes it there, it will make shared custody easier, etc. Downside is cost of housing, pure and simple. With no job in hand, it looks like short term financial suicide.

If I stay down south, the cost of living is half what it is up there, but the job prospects are abysmal.

He is pushing me away now (he says) because he was so hurt that I asked him to make changes and he did (again, so he says) but I left anyway.

Truth is, I didn't leave because I wasn't happy with the changes. I left because while I was defending him to other people that he'd never have an affair, he was inviting my best friend back to our house to have a wild weekend in our bed. I had decided to tell him that I was ready to recommit 100% when I discovered the affair. He said he'd been in an R with her for a few months and was going to contiue it. His parents own the house we lived in, so if there was leaving it had to be me.

Should I have stayed? Well, yeah, but that ship has already sailed.

Edit: ok - so this is the pushback?? Wow, it's a whole lot bigger than I thought it would be. I expected withdrawal, not an anger blow. So this is actually good? The intensity indicates the intensity of positive feelings, too?