Almost, you may not feel like I did, although you are doing exactly some of the things that I did, and wondering the same things.
The bottom line, the mights, what if's, did she do's, will simply make you nuts. And they are not worth the energy put into the. I was also trying to show you that the separation that H and I have/had is changing. Why? Because not only did I give him the space he has asked for (and he asked for it in a big way by totally shutting himself off to me) but took the time and space and used it to my advantage, rebuilding myself. A year ago, I honestly thought that the only way I would ever know anything about H again would either be learned through a lawyer or through my S. In the last few weeks, I have learned more than he probably shared with me the entire year between bombs. Pretty interesting turn of events. So yes, as hard as it is, listen to what he is asking for and really try to do it. Don't make it a plan, make it a way of life. Let him lead where this goes.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
