Well some of it apparently was because they switched the payments from the amount H was paying (which is what I kept paying) to a different monthly amount in December he says (but he didn't know that he says). THe bank says a coupon book was sent but I never received it. I'm sure it went to H's po box since the car is in his name. He said he doesn't open the mail b/c he prob. figured it was re: to credit cards. Sounds like he isn't paying for them and he's going to file for bankruptcy/foreclosure.
I think I am about $400 behind or something (about one car payment late), and apparently they aren't happy b/c H & I don't have a credit union account there which apparently never happens they said. We had a joint account there when he bought the car, but then I switched to another bank (b/c that bank is in H's town about an hour from me), and H closed his account also for some reason.
I just spent about 2 hours talking on the phone to him. He sounds like he is willing and wants to negotiate with me on several issues. Says if we go to trial it's going to be really mean and nasty on both sides. But said he isn't willing to pay permanent alimony, and that's a deal breaker for him. I said well if we can work out every other issue which is what he's suggesting, we could just leave out the alimony issue to be decided by the judge and it would still save a lot of money on both of our parts. He then said if I was more willing to negotiate with him or something, then he'd maybe be able to help me with the car. I just feel nauseous after talking to him.
He was generally polite and agreeable, but he would occasionally say stuff like he was glad he got the kids evaluated b/c he found out they actually had issues and I wasn't just crazy. I said how sweet. (you can imagine what I was thinking). I just feel sick after talking to him.
When I was talking to him about alimony, I said I honestly don't want it anymore than I have to. But I don't want to be homeless. The economy sucks and by the time it gets better I may be in my 50s. I told him I think I'll get remarried within 10 years (I think that's what he wants) but I'm not 100% positive. He said well whoever I'm with might not want us to get married for $$$ reasons, and I said I wouldn't be with somebody like that at least not forever. (Snap: I was thinking about him and he probably realized it.
When we got upset some times both of us wound up calling each other honey sometimes. I guess habit...Crazy day, crazy day! Karen
I went to the webpay service where I can see my payments for the past 180 days although I've been paying regularly since mid-December. I figured out I've paid $372 a month the past 6 months which is about what the monthly payment should be (it was $169 biweekly when H had the loan.) Apparently, they changed it in December to monthly rather than biweekly (although he made an early December payment), but I still don't see where that would calculate to more than $372 a month. I'm maybe $100 or something behind, and I certainly didn't realize it or would have paid it. I hate banks! Karen
how could they take your car for being only $100 behind? seems so screwed up!
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I'm hoping we can fix it. The bank lady told H that I was $900 behind, but I paid $2232 the past 180 days (I paid a month before that but the online stuff doesn't go that far back and that's the total the online service says I paid so no math mistakes or anything). There's no way I'm $900 behind. The webpay service said they're sending a good faith letter today to the bank so I'm hoping it could be resolved. When H first talked to her she said we would have to refinance it, but with his current F credit, not paying his bills the past 6 months, all the debt, filing for bankruptcy/foreclosure, and my unemployed status I'm betting we wouldn't be able to.... Karen
so crazy, they should focus on people that havent made any payments at all, like my husband...
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
OMG Karen! That would scare me too. Hopefully your H will be able to get this straightened out for you because he owes you that much. I wouldn't give up your permanent alimony. sure you might get married in a couple of years but what happens if you don't. I am not trying to be mean, I just want you to work through your L and not make deals on the side. Hon, he is a snake. Some of them have poisonous bites!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
He's trying to scare you, Karen. He said it would get ugly....only if HE makes it ugly. You aren't asking for anything that isn't rightfully yours. Go through your lawyer and ONLY your lawyer. He's sneaky and he is a lawyer himself. He knows exactly what he is doing.....
I am so surprised that they didnt even call you to warn you that this might happen!
Im glad that your H is being somewhat helpful about this, you deserve that much! But I agree that hes still a weasel and is probably just trying to get you to agree to something that you normally wouldnt while you are thankful to him for being helpful.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
I am so surprised that they didnt even call you to warn you that this might happen!
They did. They called last month and told H that no payments had been made in June. Since I had made them (2) I called immediately of course the # he gave me and the woman (didn't get her name of course) said she could see that I had made the 2 payments in June and H must have misunderstood. So that part I think is the credit union error.
However, they did mail some kind of notification before they started the repo process. They mailed this to H b/c the car title is in his name. He told me he hasn't been opening his mail or answering the phone b/c of credit card collectors.
Apparently, I was a payment behind when i started paying. H told me the bill was due that day and I paid it, but apparently 2 payments were due at that point. So I have to make up that payment and the repo fee $550 and they said I can have the car back. The bank lady said they are going through all the payments now that I've made and figuring out what I owe. I couldn't resist saying maybe you should do that before you repo someone's car??? Karen
H just emailed me and said they've changed their mind. Won't let me make up the missed payment and repo fee. They want us to refinance. He had told her of his bankruptcy/foreclosure (not a smart move I don't think) and the car is in his name. I don't think we'd be able to refinance to anything I could pay with our credit at this point. I was already paying $372 a month.
Karen 