Thank you PD. When I first found out about the EA it was the straw that broke the camels back and I asked him to move out (June 08). But, I have weakened several times over the past year...even tried to be friends with her for a period of a couple of months. Crazy is all I can say about that. She has no respect for me, my marriage, or my family. Made it sound like she was just trying to help him and pretty sure they convinced each other of that, but it was clearly more than that. She is a drug to him and he is feeling lost without the drug so he is drinking even more than usual which is almost impossible. He went to treatment in August and relapsed very quickly and seems to have kicked his drug problem for the last 6 months, but still addicted to alcohol, her, who knows what else. If he doesn't get help it will just be someone else or something else. Over the course of our marriage there has been all kinds of problems with addiction type stuff...internet, alcohol, drugs, the EA, possibly and probably lots of other things I don't even know about.
I appreciate the reminder to drop the rope and focus on me and son. It is so hard to do when someone close to you is on a rollercoaster. I try not to ride it but it seems almost impossible sometimes. When things are good with us there is nothing better and that is how it has always been. The EA has put a new spin on that because she is always there in my mind and I have to work very hard not to think about her, them, whatI would like to say to her, ect, ect. Doesn't help at all that her husband knows and seems to be OK with it all. Or trusts that they will keep good boundaries now????? See, even here I am expending too much time and energy on her. I used to email and text and go back and forth, I feel good to have stopped that. I feel bad for him but I have tried everything to help him and it has not worked. It hurts very badly that he thinks she can help him. I have not seen that over this past year. I think he is far worse off now that he was before her, but I could never convince him of that. He thinks she was key in helping him kick the drug habit. ANYWAY, I need and appreciate the support from being here. Please keep it coming.
