New here, first post, just started reading SSM. I'm HD husband, wife is LD. 3 young kids.
First, a 1000 thanks to Bagheera for his work and commitment to this topic and site. After reading this thread, BOY am I glad I own the book, my wife doesn't know it, and she doesn't know I'm working behind the scenes to make things better.
So far, I've latched onto the 180-degree/seesaw effect method of 'if it's not working, do something else', so I'm not going to nag her about having sex, not going to whine and complain when it doesn't happen, be generally likeable and approachable when with her. And, I hope this isn't taking the principle too far, I'm going to try (okay, did try this weekend) not initiating conversations. My feeling here is that I WANT to talk to her and be close to her, but there is a human nature tendency to fill voids, and I want to see her coming to me, instead of me coming to her. I'll be a great listener, establish and keep rapport, ask questions after a conversation is started, etc. Anyway, if it sounds like I'm wanting distance from her b/c I'm pissed, that's not it at all, I love her more than ever; but if she's always being solicited by me, there's no room for her to initiate, either conversations or sex.
If I may, I think RJRJR might be skipping the first step that Bagheera lists, and that's the problem.
