Gardener, Mishka & Mermaid - I appreciate the feedback. I have no regrets and am pleased with what I said.
I am ready for him to deny hearing it. That's fine. It's not the first time I set the boundary but it was the first time I phrased it in that way.
I was thinking the ultimatum would need to involve him moving out if he can not commit to our M and family and end his affair. I fully expect him to leave as he has his plans to meet her in Sept. If I did not give that severe of an ultimatum right now, I could provide one in which he moves out of our bedroom. The only problem I see with that is he would still have comforts of home. BUT...if I do that then when Sept rolls around and he goes to meet OW...then he'd get the boot.
I've gotten a few people who think I tell him I am aware of his plans in Sept when the ultimatum is given. What do ya'll think?
Gardener - I honestly don't know if my S wants to spend time with H. Before S left to go with H yesterday S said to me he wished I was taking him, not his dad. S also told me this weekend I need to kick H out of the house already!
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10