A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

The Suck of Eternal Monday continues.

In the midst of some emails about apartments and health insurance, I got a huge dose of anger levelled at me from H talking about all of the bad memories from him trying to change 'to please me'.

I validated. I apologized. And I think I dropped the rope? I said I needed to rethink the move.

I did NOT do this out of hurt or spite, and I did NOT do it as a ploy to get him to cave. I have been job hunting all summer and the only thing that looks like a sure bet is temp work for $13 - 18/hour. That may sound like a lot to some of you, but I'm looking at $1600/month rent up there, and that's before utilities, gas, groceries, etc. To qualify for an apartment, you have to make at least double, sometimes triple the monthly rent. The hard reality is that I'll never qualify.

I'm going to go have a good cry, then try to get my head back in the game and GAL. I have moving crap to do today even if I'm not moving up north, someone is coming to pick up kidlet's fish tanks, I have banking to do, etc.

Dia, hopelessly