Not sure what to do now???

[PortlandDad]

cpl,
You are definitely in a tough spot. I can relate to the feeling of hanging on to a dream. It sounds like your H has multiple problems that he is trying to lick right now. The EA is a powerful drug, as is the alcohol. If the drinking thing isn't new for him, may I ask if he has tried to get any help to kick that habit? I would guess that the same mental fortitude and attitude that is required to quit drinking would be required to quit an A also. If he hasn't been successful in one area, it might foreshadow problems in the other.

I like that you set your boundaries with him, even if he was drunk when you were doing it. I was far too permissive with my W when the EA was first discovered, and I caved-in with each push against my new boundaries. At the lowest point, I was a total wuss and let my W walk all over me with impunity: not sexy! I wish I would have set and enforced boundaries earlier. It sounds like you are doing well in that regard.

The only advice I can offer is right out of MWD: drop the rope, focus on you and the kids, you can't change him so don't try, keep up your PMA and get a life! I know, so simple to offer as advice, but so hard to take as the same.