I'm starting to see why some women get desperate enough to drink castor oil.
I think I might be calling a lawyer today, just to get the ball rolling on support. Getting a guaranteed $800 or so a month is better than getting $200 here and there - whatever he can "afford" after "his" bills are paid.
I've been more than accommodating with this separation. I've been polite, pleasant, and charitable. I bought him a $450 couch using my account at a local furniture store on Friday because he wanted a couch so bad. I haven't held up the mirror to him - I haven't told him that he's being a craptastic father. I haven't told him that there's an expiration date on this - perhaps he should have taken the chance that we would hate each other in ten more years after being married (not likely) rather than risking that I hate him now for the loser that he is becoming.
It's like nobody exists outside of him right now - nobody else has thoughts, feelings, is ever inconvenienced, has aches and pains, loses sleep. He'll say his most important priority is DD, but what he does with her is so that he feels good about himself.
This weekend, I chased DD around on the floor of our house (hoping that might jostle the baby loose!) and she would run up to me, put her arms around me, and say "I love you Mom!"
Those are the important moments, not the trips to the zoo, not going to the park and playing until she's exhausted so that he can put her to bed and sneak out so that she doesn't cry and he doesn't have to feel bad about himself.
He doesn't want anybody to really know we're separated because he doesn't want anybody to think badly of him. He doesn't want consequences.
Last edited by dmk127; 08/03/0903:01 PM.
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
