thanks bluerain. "...aiming it at your wife because you are afraid she will get angry?..." I know its everybodie's fault, I even blame myself too for not paying attention to what was going on in my own backyard. Now, only exposing the human side of all this, if I had the chose (if I had the authority) between one of them to be punished of course I would pick the OM. I would leave my wife out of this, she is the love of my life. I know that the ideal way to go is to follow the DB recommendations and change the direction of our human way to do things and not to do what ordinary people do who fail on their marriages. I'm still full of resentment, and I will not direct it to my wife if that's what forgiveness is all about.
Last edited by dgtal; 08/03/0904:00 AM.
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
My H's OW now has a fiance. I would LOVE to tell this poor idiot what he's getting into.....but I won't. And the number one reason is really, it's not my problem but the other reason which is the stronger driving force:
It would only serve to give the OW reason to contact my H and then they are talking a lot more again, and then maybe fiance calls off the wedding.....there's a good chance OW turns to my H for comfort or to be vindictive back at me.
There is NOTHING good that can come from this.....and you're forgetting something HUGE HUGE HUGE here......
HOW DO YOU KNOW THE WIFE DOESN'T KNOW ALREADY?
How do you know she didn't demand the same thing you did, cut off all contact?
Put yourself in her shoes, and let this go. If you need to write this letter, send it to us here.
A simple postcard will do it, I think---> ..."Be alert. Your husband is calling my wife. I found his phone number in my wife cellular phone call history dated July through August 2008 numerous times. God knows what the hell was what I discovered but counting 33 calls in only 30 days is good enough to be unconfortable mostly when the threat is coming from the local supermarket where your husband works..."
HOW DO YOU KNOW THE WIFE DOESN'T KNOW ALREADY?<--that's a good question...how could I know?
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
dgtal Please tell me you are going to leave this alone.....if you send EVERYONE WILL KNOW IT'S YOU. You will cause more damage than you can realize right now. And yes, you are angry and it's completely misdirected. You need to tell your wife how angry you are and the crazy sh!t you are contemplating. She'll stop you. And she'll be able to stop you by explaining how she would react. You do this, and all this past year will be completely forgotten by your wife. And really, who are you to decide what this other wife needs to know? You have no idea what the situation is over there in that relationship, so please dgtal, leave this alone. Build a bridge and get over it.
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
Ok dgtal. We have given you all we can. I think that I have given you some great things to think about. I understand that you dont beleive us, and thats fine, but Im done giving my advice to people are so stubbornly refusing to listen. I really do wish you luck. I dont think that this will bring you peace. This will almost assuredly backfire. Have you talked to your wife about it?
Here is my recommendation for your letter.
Be alert. Your husband was calling my wife, July through August 2008 numerous times. But their affair has ended, I just need to share my misery with someone, so I thought that you should suffer as I have.
I want to dredge up something that was put to rest over a year ago and I feel like its time to bring it all back up again rather than move on with my beautiful wife.
Life has become just a little too peaceful and enjoyable for me, so I thought that I would stir things up a little.
regards, dgtal
I really think that you are a fool to send any correspondence to this mans wife, and you are a fool if you really think that she doesnt already know, probably could name several A's that hes had, hes probably already replaced your W. A woman knows her husband better than he knows himself sometimes, and Im sure that he hasnt gotten all of this past her. Almost everyone I know who has dealt with an adulterous husband knew that something was up, long before the truth came out.
And you dont know that he didnt confess and they are now working on their own reconciliation. This isnt your place.
So, best of luck my friend. I hope that you can find true peace, but I can see that maybe thats not what you want. I would seek help on this, if you truly are that committed to it. People on here have a very good sense of whats the right thing to do. Respect their opinions, they are almost always right.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
