he was back, i think

[Sanderika]

I have been through the same with my FIL. My MIL died and I am sure this was one of two triggers that brought my H into his MLC.

I got upset with FIL early on in sitch because he was "entertaining" H and OW. I also told him he was condoning and enabling their relationship. I asked him to stop out of respect for me (who is still his daughter in law of 28+ years), and his grandson of 12+ years. My FIL told me that he did not like what his son was doing, it was out of his hands and he would never turn his back on his son regardless of his son's activities.

I was so hurt by his words....

NOW, there is a very different relationship between me, my son and FIL. I am cordial and very distant and guarded with FIL. I do not respect him. I think his choice should have been to tell son not to bring OW around him and the family until I am completely out of the picture.

This hurts, if my H and I can patch things up these people will have guilt and shame. It will be hard to be around them knowing what I do.