New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Journaling....Just got off the phone chatting with my boys. It was great just talking with them, listening to them. I hate the fact that I can't see them daily, or weekly. I sometimes dread calling them for fear of being emotional on the phone when I hear their voices.

I usually call when I am upbeat and doing fine. When I am feeling down, I just put up a good front on the phone and focus on being positive at all times. That's one hard thing to do sometimes. The boys also do their best to stay positive. I can feel it in their voices.

My W was nice on the phone when I checked in to talk to her. She didn't mention anything about divorce...She is starting school this week. I complimented her on being accepted in her program and wished her well. Then I said goodbye. Don't know if that did anything, but I just wanted to tell her I was genuinely happy for her. I hope she took it that way.

Well, I'm feeling the loneliness this evening. I'm sure there are hundreds of us on this BB who are in the same situation. I should soldier up and refocus. But tonight it's a bit hard. I guess it's OK from time to time to be vulnerable and acknowledge the loneliness. Tomorrow is a new day. I'll do better tomorrow.

JR