The Wifey - have you read any of my thread? I ask because I acutally had a true nervous breakdown and was diagnosed with a clinical panic disorder due to the BS of the past 19 months with my H. I also have Lupus. BUT the reason I had the breakdown I did was due to my refusal to detach and move forward. The main reason I registered at this site was for Kevin because everything he was doing and is still doing *I* was doing until it got to the point where I became ill. I acutally wound up hospitalized.
Three posts up he says he has no expectations and three posts later he asking for prayers for a seed to be planted because today so happens to be the 12 yr. anniversary of their former marriage. Does that sound healthy to you? Its not.
Kevin is not new to this game and has been separated for over a year. There should be some tangible progress yet there has been very little in his case. He quit counseling after one session. Went to one AA meeting and stopped going. Lagged on getting counseling for his girls and filled many a threads with obsessive chatter about his W and her every move and thought.
I can assure you that mentally and physically breaking down is an experience I wish on nobody so if some tough love is in order, well, I will offer it as I see fit on a public message board.
Most people have bailed on him because its the same thing each day. You dont have to like my style but dont chastise me for it without knowing the full back story.
I spent a good bit of my own time looking up resources for Kevin that he either blew off or never took advantage of. So I cant be all that horrifying simply because I dont see any advantage of sugar coating my words. We have all tried many approaches with Kevin.... soft & gentle, hard nosed, straight up "how it is" and the simple offering of information and proven techniques.
In any situation if you want the best possible outcome you need to do the work. You need to get damn dirty doing the work and really dig in. In my observation that has not yet happened hence my "hard" stance with Kevin.
