Regardless of talking to him about it before, you probably did not give him the message you thought you gave him, because if your actions are totally non-assertive, then he is going to read your actions more often than the occasional conversation you bring up.
The way to be assertive without nagging is to show him and tell him you want to have sex with him. No man (with a normal sex drive) is going to view you wanting sex with him as "nagging"! Instead, it is going to make him feel desired, which will then trigger his desire. Over time, as you show him your desire for him, he will likely show you his desire for you more! So instead of waiting for him to bring it up again later that night, you just get in bed in a sexy nightie and light candles...and you tell him straight up, "baby, I can't wait to get my arms around you and make magic together".
OK, this sounds like "actions speak louder than words" which makes perfect sense to me. I'm a bit that way myself - H can talk all he wants about how he wants to do it, but I tend not to believe it until he's actually touching me in intimate ways. Maybe he feels the same way about my verbal expressions of concern.
Originally Posted By: DanceQueen
When Lucky said to make sure you don't make it seem about your own satisfaction, I think what she meant was to make sure he feels desired by you. IE: its not that you "want sex", its that you "want HIM". This should be an easy message to deliver to him, if in fact, you really do want him. You like the way he looks? Tell him. You like how muscular his legs are? Touch them and talk about how sexy they are. You love it when you get to look into his eyes while he's making love to you? Send him an email the day after sex stating this.
I do give H frequent compliments of a sensual and sexual nature. I've also made it clear to him (verbally) that I care about the whole relationship, not just the sex part, and that I want to do my part to make this relationship work out.
